i hate life so much
im homeless again
i feel very alone
the end is near
wether by accident or purpose
i now it will come soon
cuz i cant stand this any more
too much shit has happened
i dont want to feel this way any more
i will do more couciling but i wont hold my breath

OMFG I HATE PEOPLE,THEY R ALL STUPID,FUCKING IDIOTS!!!
\Y DO PEOPLE GO TO A SUPPORT GROUP AND R SHOWN AS "ONLINE",AND THEN WHEN SOME 1 SAYS HI,THE FUCKING GO OFF LINE,WTF?????????????????/
HELLO,IF UR ON ,AND DONT WANT TO CHAT THEN FUCKING GET THE NFUCK OFF LINE!!!!!
GOD DAMN IDIOTS.
MAYBE ITS JUST ME,MAYBE IM REALLY CRAZY????????
AND IT PISSES ME OFF WHEN, DO DECIDE TO CHAT,AND MAYBE TALK ABOUT WHATS BOTHERING ME,THE SAY FUCK U,WITH OUT SAYING IT,LIKE O I WEAS BUSY,OR HAD A PHONE CALL,OR SOME FUCKING SHIT.
FUCK IT
FUCK U
AND FUCK OFF

so today is.....i guess just another day.its actualy kira and mine anniversary,but soon will be getting divorced.so im not sure exactly what this day is. all i keep doing is remebering what was going on this day last year,how happy we,I was. today is not a good day,i almost just wanna take a few pills and sleep the day way.

kira is right about atleast 1 thing,i dont understand,why exactly she came to this decision. proly never will.

I have more to tell if anyone gives a shit,witch i doubt anyone does. So i will write this for me.so i can relive the pain,the hurt,the anger.this will no longer b about anyone,but me.its not worth it to bring other people in on my pain.i cant stand to bear it,y would anyone in there right mind want to.i am not going to go and follow,anyone.
i am going to do what ive always done.just b me,where i am.im not happy about it,but better unhappy,then tortured.cuz i have to stay strong,at least enuf un til she leaves,then i can,do what i need/want to,and fall to peices.cuz i cant take the ups and downs,any longer.its too much.i will proly repeat meself,but o well,thats me,i repeat me self alot,it seems.i cant seem to find any music that does not influence me,everything seems to b about love,or pain,hurt.i feel all,and it makes me think,and think,too much,to the point where it make me do things i regret later,and make myself feel stupid.that i sould have known better,but im emotionality unbalanced.I HATE THE FACT I CANT BE NORMAL.y i think,and feel these ways.

i dont know what to put right now,so
lates

OMFG,so i guess im getting divorced.im not happy,1 little iota.yes im an acholic,yes i was pushing kira into drinking with me,but couldnt she still have said no.from what i can figure out,thats y im soon to be all by myself,again,with no one.she says this is not easy for her,but its easier for her her then me,cuz she is the one that wants this.and i have n ot slept with other people,to try and forget,about the other person.
i think the song "fade to black" is the best song right now that describes what im feeling,the best,and i really like "scarllet letters",its about cutting,and love.
i feel really hurt,and very angry.i want to cut myself most of the time,mostly the only thing stopping me is the fact some is normaly here.i know ive done some things i should not have done,but i thought kira would not ever realy worry about it,not to this degree.i have adrinking prob,but im not worth the trouble,anymore,she has moved on,and i have not,i can not.i feel i still have tto look out for her,cuz i love her,and i can let her go,i think,i just cant right now.i think she is doing things wrong,lioke moving to GA,but i cant tell her this cuz then i would be trying to minipulate her,and i dont want to anymore,but at what point do i say something,for her own good. do i love her enuf to let her make mistakes,i dont think so,but only cuz i think if u love someone,u want the best for them,and to to fail.

thats what i got for now
lates